The film we watched this week gave me another chance to challenge my perceptions of the Middle East as a whole, particularly Iran in this case. We saw a group of middle aged friends trying to get away from the busy capital city of Tehran for the weekend, and they end up settling in a small house on the sea front. From the beginning, it is obvious that the women are independent and can do what they want for the most part. For example, Sepidah is the one who planned the trip and made reservations, and when they needed to get groceries the women were able to drive themselves. In contrast, the women were the only ones involved in cleaning and cooking, while the men were relaxing. Later in the movie, it became clear that the men held the power, especially over their spouses. As tensions were rising, the men started to tell the women what to do and what not to do. The men would mostly talk to the other men about how to handle the situation. When the police showed up, they interacted mostly with the men while the women stood off to the side. The more serious things became, the more evident the gender roles became. I think this is a common occurrence that happens in many cultures. Even in America, it is common for married women to not make financial or other big decisions without their spouse, whereas it seems like married men are more likely to make big decisions alone, without the input of their spouse. As much as we like to think the US is socially advanced, we still fall victim to these examples of patriarchy. Habibe Jafarian describes some of the ways Iranian women a free but also limited in her article “How to Be a Woman in Tehran”. A theme I noticed in her article is that women were hypothetically allowed to do as they please, but that they would face “judgement” from others if they act in a way that is frowned upon. She faced judgement from her coworkers for unknowingly having a relationship with a married man, even though it was the married man who had lied about being single and she cut it off when she found out he had a wife. I would like to think that in our society, the man would be viewed as the one in the wrong in this situation, and Habibe would be recognized for doing the right thing. Whereas in Iran, she faced scrutiny from the mans wife and her coworkers shamed her as well. This situation has some similarity to the movie, where Elly wanted to cut off her engagement but was unable to. Her cultures practices and standards make it difficult for a women to end an engagement or marriage without the male wanting it to end. Elly went on the trip to meet a new man despite being engaged because she had no other choice. At the point where the group is trying to hide the fact that they knew she was engaged, they are doing so because if they knew, inviting her would be a huge faux-pas in their culture. It is a shame that because of her technical relationship status, she is limited in what she can freely and publicly do.
The way I perceive the social freedom in Iran as a result of this film reminds me of American shows and movies from the 50’s or 60’s. In both, women have legal equality and are free to drive, get an education, etc. While women in both scenarios are able to do what they want and are not technically oppressed, there are less obvious signs of the lingering patriarchy that affects their everyday lives. It is expected that women are responsible for household chores such as cleaning, cooking, and taking care of children. Men are allowed to relax while women take care of these duties, although both the men and women are likely to have spent their day working at their job. Although gender roles have become less defined in our culture over the past few decades, they still exist. This shows how slow the process is to change the ways of thinking and acting of a culture.
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